it's a small world after all

Monday, January 5, 2009

hindi naging maganda ang paghihiwalay namin ni ex. kung sa bagay, kelan nga naman ba gumanda ang istorya ng hiwalayan?

maganda si ex. sexy. campus figure nung college days. at one of the faces-to-look-at-everyday sa company kung saan ko sya nakilala. in short, gf material. naging kami for eight months. matapos yan ng isang taong pagliligawan. 'langya, mas matagal ko pa syang sinuyo kesa sa panahong naging kami.

masasabi kong hindi ordinaryong babae si ex. hiwalay na ang mga magulang nya. ang daddy nya may bago ng pamilya. samantalang ang mommy nya naman nasa ibang bansa, nagta-trabaho. kaya bilang panganay sa kanilang apat na magkakapatid, sya ang ate, tatay at nanay sa kanila.

maraming ups and downs nang maging kami. nandyan ang mga moments ng lambingan tapos awayan, at hindi mabilang na suyuan pagkatapos ng dedmahan. parang roller coaster ride. pero masasabi kong pareho kaming masaya. "weird," ika nga ni jo.

kung gaano karaming beses na nasabi ko sa kanyang "i'm sorry. i am not a perfect boyfriend. but i'm trying to be." ganun din karaming beses syang sumagot ng "please don't. because i am not a perfect girlfriend either."

things never went complicated between the two of us. pero sabi nga, if things cannot go wrong, then it will go badly.

one day, we had an argument. ayoko ng gusto nya at gusto nya ng ayoko. a week passed and we both kept our false tranquility. it was just a simple misunderstanding. well, at least for me. our friends say it's vanity. and i realized it was. but the realization was too late.

most women, are by nature, weak. kelangan nya daw ng kausap that time. someone to cry on. someone to soothe her, console her. and so one of the devil's apostles ascended from hell to do the job.

she went out with her sick-fuckin'-shit, tight-ass, shoulder-rubber boss. (of course i'm not overdressing the description. *sigh* it's a known fact in the company na lahat ng mga naging staff nun, dumaan sa mga kamay nya.) akala ko iba si ex. the boss was 42, married (pero hiwalay sa asawa) at may tatlong anak. yung panganay was already at college. pero sabi nga, ang lalaking matulis, mananatiling matulis. fuck. and so they went out together. and they made out.

i am not stupid to not know. at hindi rin ako bato para hindi makaramdam ng kahit ano. as in tang'na. tumagos sa buto. low blow eh. i quit my job kahit na alam kong i'll be losing a lot in that decision. (i am already at the losing end in any way, so why bother?)

we talked of course before we parted. she plead her guilt. and i rest my case. she said sorry. i turned my back and walked away. i told you i am not stupid. i never asked her why.

more than a year had passed. i found a new job and never heard anything from her since then. but i had been receiving messages from some friends and former officemates. nakikiusyoso. yung iba nakikiramay. hahaha. they'd been seeing my ex and her boss going out. "perhaps they really love each other. let's give them the repose they both deserve," was always my invariable response.

more than a year had passed. maraming nangyari. maraming nagbago. pero sabi nga sa isang kanta, "our roads are gonna cross again... somewhere down the road..." God, indeed, likes to watch. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if He really is a prankster.

december 27, 2008. i was in a resort in batangas and enjoying the year-end vacation. i was about to have my dinner in one of the grills there when i saw her.

of course, i couldn't believe at first. i thought someone's playing another practical joke on me. but it was really her. she was alone, sipping a tea and enjoying herself with a plate of baklava. that was her favorite. she never really changed.

i realized it wasn't a joke by any means. just small world.

my eyes told me she's still pretty and her form did not change a bit. i approached her and, as expected, she was surprised taken aback to see me. her face turned pale as if a vampire just sucked all her blood.

i said hi. a fair, plain greeting to start out a conversation with an ex-lover. hehe. we shared table and so everything went on. kamustahan. kwentuhan. but we never talked about us. the encounter was formal and sometimes blank, yet ironically, in some ways soothing.

we slept together and that night wasn't futile nor prosaic. she asked me if i missed her. i said never, not a single time. she just leaned over and smiled.

they say all women are weak, vulnerable. if not, at least she is.

34 comments:

Dhianz said...

wow... is dat ur love story?... so it means kayoh uletz?... wat a luv story... pang-maala ala moh kaya yan ahh... nd wow... ur roads really did cross again... kung kayo na nga uletz... i'm happy for u... GODBLESS! -di

lucas said...

wow... ito pala ang love story mo, mate... i guess women are not necessarily weak, they're just a little soft .. and their vulnerability sometimes makes them lost their way...

Chyng said...

Uhm, how about you? What if like you, namiss ka lang din niya and nothing more? hehe

Pero possible 2nd chances ha. Some lessons are taught the hard way talaga...

Keep us updated! ;)

Dudong said...

watta love story...for me as much as possible I don't want to sleep with an ex-lover...but then I always break my rules...one thing that will never be broken is that an X (ex)can never be / (check).

ka bute said...

hahaha. hindi kami dahil sila. isa pa, i do not believe in second chances. there is no such thing as pangalawang pagkakataon. for me, the next one, it's absolutely different. (--,)

anyways, mga pafs and sis, happy new year sa inyong lahat. :)

MysLykeMeeh said...

Oh man! She slept with you right then? Hmnn...!(Oh girl?) lolzz...

Who knows? Love is sweeter the second time around? Ha ha ha!

You know that song, Maybe? There's no yes, there's no "no" just both of you!....Colourful pala love story mo! Parang "indigo" , deep blue!

Yeah, there's always a new adventure waiting ahead! Basta sexy ahh? eeekkk...

~yAnaH~ said...

I am weak..I am vulnerable....But i dont necessarily and easily five in.. does it amke me different from the others?

napadaan lang din...
i like the way you write..
can i add u up?

chezza said...

Hmmm, interesting but I think men are weaker than women (sorry guys!)why did u sleep with her in the first place if you didn't miss her? he,he,he...c'mon ka bute you wouldn't even write this if you didn't :)
I hope all will be sorted out soon and keep us updated!

ka bute said...

to chezza: ha ha! u almost got me there. perhaps i am a devil's apostle too that's why i slept with her. (--,) *grin*

atticus said...

hehe. ikaw naman. kahit sino, hindi papakawalan ang chance na iyon. mag-isa siya, mag-isa ka. dating kayo. asows.

we all love to have what used to be comfortable and known to us.

feeling ko alam ko iyong resort.

were you in matabungkay?

-mOlit- said...

hi! happy new year :)

great love story...weeehhh... women mybe weak but men are more weaker! charing! hehe...

another love story naman yung present..hihi...

gasti said...

haay buhay! hindi naman labanan ng kung sino ang weaker dito eh! haha!

girls and boys are both weak but in a different way.

babae madaling mabola, lalaki madaling matukso.

happy new year pards! buti hindi ka na nakipagbalikan. keep moving forward ika nga. and oh by the way..42 yr old boss? wtf!

.::. Vanny .:. said...

hala. weaker ang boys. period. hahaha. :D

naku anu ba naman yang love story mo. teka.. LOVE story nga ba to? hehe

geekie-rn said...

wah! nalerkey naman ako sa pagka-small ng world nyo!
nun nabasa ko yung part dat u slept together that night..i was like.."haar..give the 42-yr old boss a dose of his own medicine."lol!
so wats next after this, ka bute? :)

Nyl said...

it's a common saying that "first love never dies..is she your first?"hehe!tsismosa din po ako.:D

anyway, i agree. madali lang talaga suyuin ang mga girls..am guilty of that, and i feel stupid over that realization..pero kung sa botohan naman kung sino ang mas mahina pagdating sa pag-ibig..tyak ang mga boys yun..it doesn't just show coz boys cry in secret.:P

gudluck sa lablyf mo..sana you'll find not only the gf material but most importantly yung wife material coz sooner you'll exchange vow and get there into the next level..where there are more challenges to test your love for each other.

nice sharing..happy 2009!:)

[ k r y k ] said...

wow grabe uhh'!
how can i react to this post?

LoL. Ü

maxadong maLupet'!
HAHA.

ikaw ahh hmm minsanan ka Lang mag post pero tumatagos. Ü

dakiLang bloggista *saLute'!* Ü

good Luck sayo. hehe. :DD

Ishna Probinsyana said...

Ano kayang susunod na mangyayari. Magkikita kaya sila ulit? Aabangan ko ang susunod na kabanta. :P

gillboard said...

This just complicates things between you and your ex in my opinion... Instead of giving you closure, I think it will just bring more complications.

sorry pakealamero

lifeandrunway said...

This is a nice story, I swear! The way you composed it paragraph per paragraph made me create a mental picture..a novel where I can't skip or stop a bit. I admire how you were able to talk about her inspite of what she did wrong. You're still a gentleman. Can you please right another article on how you cope up with the break up, if it's not too much to ask. Aside from the movie "One more chance", I'd like to know how guys coped up with the break up in details. Would it be ok for you to do that? **hopes..** **wink..wink**

jigs said...

oi. kagilagilalas ika nga. she is surely guilt sticken. or maybe ikaw din when it happend that night. hope that would become a period of your buried nightmare.

\m/ :D \m/

teresa aka Churvah said...

i guess the atmosphere in that beach is way too romantic. that u guys got carried away..hehe!

san kaya ulet kaya kayo magkikita?
hmmn..its a small world after all,hehe!

Love said...

hello Ka Bute!! Thanks sa pag grit ng bday ko!! Whoaw!! I'm so overwhelmed everytime i see ur name on my comments.. hehe na-starstruck ba.. superfan mo kasi ako weh.. thanks tlaga sa pagcocomment kahit minsan na lang ako makadaan d2..

d2 na ako ngcomment kasi wala akong makitang cbox eh hehe.. thanks ulet!!

~~m$. DoNNA~~ said...

makikiepal lang ako dito.. hehehe..
hindi ko pa nababasa lahat:)

nahj12 said...

naman.. nice to be back.. tagal ko din nawala.. the phone is sony ericsson c702 btw.. heheh.. nice article.. as always.. keep it up.. update ha. .hehe.. :)

Inkee said...

Hindi lahat ng women ay weak. Sya lang. bow!

nakiaway ba. hehe. :p

thanks for visiting my blog. ^_^

Rio said...

wow...nice artik..small world nga pero parang nabitin ako sa kwento mo??
anong nangyari after that night??

JoShMaRie said...

hindi weak ang mga gurls. eng-eng lang talaga ang karamihan sa kanila. buti na lang bakla ako. haha.

Dhianz said...

hi kabute! juz droppin' by... =) GODBLESS! -di

canky.is.me said...

ka bute! musta? la pa update amft. pachange ng link pala haha.

ka bute said...

hahaha. honga 'no? tagal na pala nung last kwento ko. toinks. ;) pre-occupied lang. :D

RoNald said...

Twice ko na nabasa tong post mo na to Ka Bute. Sarap ulit-ulitin.whew! ngayon lang ako nakacomment kasi ngayon ko lang din natapos mabasa ang maraming comments na nakapost dito.pwede?...tsk3. Bitin nga naman ang story pero may spekulasyon ako na may malaking pasabog na magaganap sa susunod na tagpo.

1. magkikita pa kaya silang muli?
2. kung magkita man sila ano ang pwedeng mangyari?
3. 43 na siguro edad ni 42 ngayon noh? :-? hmmmn.
4. sino ang bagong tauhan na pwedeng darating sa susunod na tagpo?
5. malalaman na kaya ang totoong pagkatao ng halimaw sa banga? hehehe.

napadaan lang po. namumulot lang ng mabubuting aral. ;)

Anonymous said...

hala...naiyak naman ako dito.

karenkarenkaren said...

this is good. you aint just a typer. you're a writer. (;
ive been thinking, maybe you got 'the perfect tongue'. hehehe.

i love this:
if things cannot go wrong, then it will go badly.

P.S. i contradict your recurring statement. humans, men and women alike, are, by nature, weak.